Humor time

We all need a little humor to help us in this world like it is today.

This is about a little green snake.

Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He
thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.


The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived. Breath here......

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires,=2
0put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.

Is this the real NY Yankees, and if not where have they gone?

Not since the wild boys of the 50's has there been a Yankee team like this, and all Mantle, Martin and Co did was drink themselves to death.

Antics like post game on field shaving cream pies to the face are not in the DNA of the corporate look NY Yanks that I know.

So who are these guys who went all nut-so behind the mound yesterday after coming back from a 4-0 deficit with the Phillies, did we win the division, pennant or the World Series yet?

Like the song says where have you gone Joe DiMaggio and Ill add Derek Jeter, the 2009 version of the NY Yankees are like nothing I have seen in nearly 40 as a Yankee fan, where is captain courageous these days?

Some would say they that playing loose is a good thing and I agree, but between all the young players from the farm system and other new arrivals from trades and free agents there is a drop in average age and that could be a good thing, but only time will tell.

I can only hope they save one more bit of craziness in the middle of the diamond for late October, to quote another song "it don't mean a thing if you don't get that ring" and we ain't talking about AL championship rings here.

Just someone to talk to

I got this from the internet, I think the "punt" is sort of like the Indian Reservation.

On Saturday afternoon at the racecourse a middle-aged punter opened the door. “I’m too pissed to drive home” he told me, “and just want somewhere to stay overnight.” I told him to get in.


"Any luck on the punt?” I asked. After taking a deep breath he said, “I just dropped ten grand...but it’s only money, isn’t it?”


Then he proceeded to tell me his life story and given he’d chosen a classy hotel some distance away, I was a captive audience. But I didn’t mind as he was relatively upbeat and intelligent, without being boorish like some drunks.


“Basically, I’m a drunk,” he stated. “Because of the drink I’ve lost my wife and my family.” He explained that the problem began whilst chaperoning his teenage son around the country playing cricket.


Though the kid had been successful and reached State representation, my passenger turned to alcohol to help while away endless four day matches in cities and towns with only strangers for company.


“Then I started drinking back at home and after a few years it got so bad my wife decided she’d had enough. Now I’ve got no family, no friends, nothing. Nothing except work, drinking and gambling.“


It was apparent that he especially regretted losing his son and agreed that this really hurt. Yet he seemed surprised when I suggested he was headed for a lonely death, like he’d never considered that possibility and he fell silent as we reached the hotel.


We chatted for a further five minutes and with another passenger waiting I decided to force the issue with some brutal honesty. “Well, mate," I blithely stated with a smirk, "if you’re going to drink yourself to death, you might as well save time and end it now !”

Immediately I regretted the comment and had visions of him plummeting from the top floor of his hotel. Fortunately, however, he chuckled at the black humour and conceded, “Yeah, I know, it's bloody ridiculous, I have do something. Got any suggestions?”


“It’s probably too painful for your family or friends to do the heavy lifting,” I said. “But if you want to regain their respect, start with a professional.” Grabbing a pen and taxi card I jotted down, ‘Gambling, Drug and Alcohol Clinic’. “Ring your local Health Service,” I told him, “They have free counselling on Medicare.”


He was so thankful for the advice he shook my hand three times in gratitude...then waited for his $3.50 change. It was my turn to chuckle.


Now the ending has happend to me on numerous occations. I hope the author of Tampa Shots has found the free virus protection.

Love Bugs/Dodgers etc

In reference to Tim's of "Tampa Taxt shots" post about the love bugs, I have heard from a good friend who used to live in Philly, she tells me never heard of them till she moved here. Also a high school buddy living in Michigan that there either. Guess just here.
After last nights win the Dodgers are sporting the best win-loss record in baseball even with the lost of Manny for 40 more games give or take a few. I believe July 3 is the day he is coming back. Even without his bat they are scoring runs. The Rays came from 7 runs down to beat the Indians 8-7 with a homerun from B.J. Upton.
A few days ago I went to Sweet Bay and it was really hot. As I was coming out of the store with my oxygen tank in tow, a fly by night cab was sitting in the fire lane ( I used to use it too )but there was a old and I mean old lady putting her packages in the trunk of the cab, while this cabbie, not from the good ole USA was on his cell phone ssistting in the A/C car. A few years ago I would have told the bum what I thought of him. But I am afraid that I have seen United and Yellow drivers do the same thing. I bet 21 stand drivers would even like the cat lady now. Oh one more thing, the Yankees won with three runs in the bottom of the ninth. Well everyday can't be perfect.

This bar will take you home.

It seems that customers are still packing the bar, "MacDinton's, and they are teaming up with a taxi service called Zingo. They have this little fold up scooter that will fit in the trunk of the customers car. Thsis of course if they have had to much to drink. With the recessin looming and money getting tighter, the co-owner of the bar Barry O'Conner, has come up with this idea. This company Zingo will supply a driver, this driver will drive the drunk home, He puts his little scooter in the truck and when he gets the customer home, he gets the scooter out and drives back to the bar.

Zingo members pay $10.00 for a pick-up and $3.00 a mile. United Cab has or had, they did when I was driving a program called Cab Alert. We would go get the the customer and take him or her home. I got my information about this new company, Zingo from the newspaper, TBT. My only question is who foots the bill if this designated driver has a accident. Are their insurance as good as United Cab, even if United's insurance won't let me drive, they are good. Even if the before mentioned partier is saving a few dollars to get home. Will it be worth it if, God forbid, something happens. I, as a former drinker, vote for calling a cab.

A question about Tampa

I find it a bit unusual that I get close to 100 story's a day from Goggle News Alerts, using key words like cab driver, cabby and etc, about cab drivers getting beat up, shot and killed all around the world, but never in Tampa.

Is Tampa without crime against cab drivers or is it just covered up and by who, the last story I read about cab drivers was the jack ass from the EPA that stole a cab, on the strip just before the Super Bowl.

Edmonton is a much smaller city then Tampa and I would think they have less crime in all categories then Tampa.

If the last paragraph is true why is Tampa not putting up dividers as Edmonton is.

This has to make you wonder, do the powers that be in Tampa care more about the image they sell to visitors or the safety of cab drivers.

Do I really have to say it...you tell me.

To my good friend Tim, and new contributor Matt

Thank You Tim for taking the time from your busy day to comment on our blog, and as I always say any comment is a good comment.

First of all one can not be too careful and this strain of flu seems to be everywhere, and some schools in Tampa have been closed according to Larry.

As I said one can't be too careful, like getting cash up front before taking a long run like somewhere like...Sarasota, nuf said eah.

Yeah the Yanks are taking there lumps right now, but like I have been told before, a baseball season is not a sprint but a marathon, so we will have to wait till September.

Matt first I have to thank you for your 2 comments unfortunately I lost one of them.

The cab business can be tough just about all the time for a new driver, and with this down economy this is not the time, there will be days you will have a hard time making your lease, before you make a dime for yourself.

I don't know how bad things are for you right now or how bad Atlanta is for "regular jobs", or how the cab business is there, I would talk to as many cab drivers who work for the company that you are talking to, and see what they have to say.

One more thing to thing to think about, unless you are willing to work between 15 and 18 hours per day and do that for 6 or 7 days its going to be tough.

On your other topic what can a driver do about when someone runs off without paying, in Tampa you have the right to ask anyone who gets in for cash upfront, and I did this on all long runs, after getting burnt once or twice.

As for running after them you better hope they don't have a knife or worse, its just not worth a buck or two, just chalk it up to experience and go get another call.

Matt if you have any questions write me at gentom727@yahoo.com.

Swine flu is becoming a world wide problem

Two cab drivers are quarantined in a Hong Kong Hospital because they drove a Mexican Man who in inflicted with the swine flu, also
quarantined are the hotel he stayed in and one he visited.

In the movie the Godfather when things got tough they went to the mattress's with the swine flu getting tough its time to go to
surgical mask's and rubber gloves, be careful out there.

Cab driver strikes back

I like the South Australia Taxi Council don't condone the driver running down the teenage boy who ran out without paying the fare, but fare beats are becoming an epidemic in this down economy.

It is very sad that the young man lost his leg but I can somewhat understand the drivers frustration.

Story is from ABC News.

The Taxi Council of South Australia says it does not condone the actions of a taxi driver who allegedly ran over a passenger who tried to run off without paying.

The teenage boy was hit early on Sunday at Woodville Gardens and has had a leg amputated because of the incident, which happened in First Avenue.

Police are still seeking the driver involved.

Wally Sievers from the Taxi Council says fare evasion is a big problem for the industry.

"There's a lot of it that goes unreported but it would be a significant number, particularly on Friday and Saturday nights, but we do not condone in any way the alleged incident where a driver took the action that he did," he said.

Mr Sievers says the taxi industry will provide any help police need in their investigation.